


falling in reverse

by stillhumanz



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, and i am so sorry for writing this, baz dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 09:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13431477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillhumanz/pseuds/stillhumanz
Summary: Baz dies kissing Simon Snow.And maybe that's the best way to go.





	falling in reverse

Simon breathes heavily, wand clenched tightly in his hand, the other too broken to use. Fire burns bright around the forest, and trees collapse into ash as the fight continues.

“Give it up, Snow.”

Baz’s voice is hoarse, grey eyes bright in the fire, and the two gashes above his black eye glint with blood that refuses to spill. Simon almost feels like he should pity him, but now, after fighting for far too long, he can’t find it in him to feel anything but the magic flowing through his veins and the bitter heat surrounding him. Maybe he’s going off again. Baz doesn’t care, judging by the way his eyebrow still arches up in that same way from when they were roommates, as if this is hardly even important to him. “The only blood spilled here is yours.” he lifts the bloodied sleeve of his blazer, giving it a brief, almost hungry glance.

“I wonder  _ why.”  _ Simon spits out. He’s so fucking tired of Baz playing these games. One of them is going to die tonight, because this isn’t Watford anymore. This is a forest that’ll be burned to nothing by morning, where there’ll be a body to be found by people who don’t care, where either the Mage or the Grimms will end up holding a celebration rather than a funeral for whichever one ends up dead.

“You know,” Baz starts. His voice is smooth once more, the deep velvety tone that Simon wants to hate so bad. “It’s a shame you found out so early. Would have been a better reveal now, when you’re about to die by  _ my  _ magic.” and then, for a split second, his cool expression slips. “Even bigger shame if we couldn’t make this quick, though.”

“Then _ do it.”  _ Simon says without thinking, without stopping to consider just what Baz had meant. “Try and kill me. But I’m going to be the one walking out of here alive tonight.” he doesn’t consider what the other’s slight wince at that means, either. But after a few beats of silence, Baz raises the bloodied hand that clutches his wand.

And then he starts some sort of spell, running toward Simon who can’t hear anything, because oh god it’s actually happening, Baz is going to kill him and he doesn’t think about summoning his sword this time because Baz is almost here and before either of them can stop to think that maybe this is irrational maybe they should try and settle this _maybe-_

Baz freezes.

Falls to the ground.

Screams.

And Simon goes with him, his sword still buried in the other’s abdomen.

One of them is going to die tonight.

And it’s Baz.

Baz, who has a sword through his stomach right now, who’s bleeding out even though Simon thought vampires couldn’t _do_ that, who’s looking at him with an expression that’s almost surprised. Almost.

Baz, who  _ laughs. _

“Well, you-” he coughs. Simon finally feels the tears burning as they roll down his cheeks. “You actually made do on a- promise for once, Snow.” Simon tries to look him in the eye. He ends up looking at the blood staining Baz’s shirt instead. So he doesn’t notice when Baz’s expression softens, or when a shaking hand moves to Simon’s cheek, wiping away the tears. “I suppose I have to stick to mine, as well.”

“Baz, what-”

And then Baz kisses him.

It’s short and Simon barely has time to react, but he likes it. Even if this first kiss will be their last. Even if Baz’s breath is getting more shallow and he’s collapsing against Simon’s chest, having just enough strength to lift his head up and keep his trembling hand on Simon’s cheek.

“Simon Snow.” Baz breathes out. “I am completely, hopelessly in love with you. And I am a coward. And I am so, so sorry.”

And Simon kisses him again, because there’s not much else he can do. There’s no fixing this, no spell because he knows he’d mess it up and do something even worse, because Baz is dying and Baz is in love with him and _it’s all his fault._

Baz goes limp in Simon’s arms, falling apart from him with a blank expression. Dead.

Simon Snow is in love with Baz Pitch.

But he’s never coming back.

And he’s never going to know.


End file.
